Kalkran.COM

Oh, why am I even starting this post? It's making me sad already...

If anything can drive me insane, it's horrible spelling or grammar, be it typo's or just a lack of understanding of the language you're trying to speak. Or the "lolcatspeak". Sometimes, it makes me lose faith in humanity. Argh the stupidity!

For me, personally, writing is not something I'm particularly good at, but I like my walls of text to be free of any spelling mistakes at least. The grammar is a second thing, but I'm trying to keep that nice and clean as well. When I'm bored, I write. That is why I started this blog, so I would have a place to write things! That's why I'm bothering you guys, and also why I have about five or six visitors per day. I can probably tell you the names of the visitors too: Joey, (Ilias?), "The_End", biotech, my parents(sometimes?) and maybe someone from the Universiteit van Amsterdam (UvA), since I'm keeping my school results on here.

Beware, /rant starts after the jump.

Your vs You're

One of the most common mistakes is misspelling "your" or "you're". That's easy to remember: "You're" is a contraction of you are, while"your" describes a possession (no, not the demonic kind). What you keep seeing on the internet are sentences such as:

yea i took you're site and edited it a bit, hope you dont mind.

&

your being stupid.

For God's sake, l2english!

Gief pls, kthxbye

The most annoying "mistake" would still be saying things like thx, plz, plx, plix, pl0x or even gief. If anything, use pls, but I'd rather have you talk proper English and say "please", "thanks", "give it to me" and so forth. Also, don't contract words that are totally unrelated, such as kthxbye. The "okay" has nothing to do with the "thanks" and neither with the "bye". The spacebar is really really big compared to your other keys, so use it!

Lolcatspeak

That's just two so far, but there's countless others, try "lolcatspeak". It's HORRIBLE. Some of the kitty pictures are quite amusing, yes. But if you're commenting on it, at least speak ENGLISH. Don't try to be as funny as the picture was. A good example of a lolcat would be:

Come on, it would be as funny if you had spelled it right, (or to me it would, at least). What the kitty is trying to say is actually: This kitty, who has the flu, is in your house, drinking all your soda! Okay, never mind. It's nowhere near as funny. But let's view a comment, shall we?

"…ore mebbee flu powda netwerk. has you a rekwest fur songn danz, FFL? icy dat maus tied wif you."

It's English! Yeah! It took me a couple of seconds to find that out as well. I think it says:

"or maybe the Flu (Floo) powder network (think Harry Potter). Do you have a request for a song or dance, FFL(?). I see the mouse tied to you."

I think. I'm not sure.

BReeZaH

Whoever invented this needs to get SHOT. Thankfully, most of the BreeZaH language has died down (only to be replaced by a smiley explosion), but.. When I first started (really) using msn I'm sure everyone had names with random intercapped letters. It hurts my eyes to read, and NO. It does NOT look good, no matter WHERE you place it. Then there's h4x0r language.

h4x0r

I'm glad I never really met people who used this (except maybe g3n1us4tplay over at net-force.nl), it's mainly script kiddies - don't look at me.. - that use(d) it. But sometimes you get these random people that are being assholes by typing the lolcatspeak, and then turning it into h4x0r-language. Which is, basically, just changing letters to numbers and odd looking characters:

i -> 1 ; l -> 1
z -> 2
e -> 3; b -> |3
h -> 4; a -> 4
etc.

It makes your sentences very hard to read, even more than Breezah and lolcatspeak mixed together:h1, c4n u t33ch m3 70 h4x0r s173s pl0x?

Oh, I totally forgot about the part where they either end their words with -zor, -xor or whatever really, turn the K-sounds into X-es (hack -> HAX!) and further mutilate English for no apparent good.

There you go, that's all I have to say about you people out there using English in ways you should call it pidgin.

/end rant

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